Friday, November 28, 2014

I Am (Lonely Version)

I am lonely and scared.
I wonder when life will be a pleasure for me.
I hear my silent screams echoing in the darkness.
I see blood spilling from my broken heart, staining my hands
and leaving red marks on all that I touch.
I want to live a day without feeling this way.
I am lonely and scared.

I pretend that the walls I’ve built can keep out my fears,
but really I’m just keeping out any chance of love.
I feel like there’s no reason to tear down my walls,
because who will love me anyway?
I touch the pieces of my broken hope, wondering if it will ever be whole again.
I worry that the darkness surrounding me will swallow me alive.
I cry rarely, but when I do it’s a pleasure to feel alive.
I am lonely and scared.

I understand that not everyone knows what I’m going through.
I say that it’s okay because I don’t want to talk about it.
I dream that someday my walls will fall and
someone will love me for me.
I try to smile as though the pain doesn’t exist and my life is perfect.
I hope that someday I won’t have to pretend, the smile
will be real, and the pain non-existent.

I am lonely and scared.

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