I Am (Lonely Version)

I am lonely and scared.

I wonder when life will be a pleasure for me.

I hear my silent screams echoing in the darkness.

I see blood spilling from my broken heart, staining my hands

and leaving red marks on all that I touch.

I want to live a day without feeling this way.

I am lonely and scared.

I pretend that the walls I’ve built can keep out my fears,

but really I’m just keeping out any chance of love.

I feel like there’s no reason to tear down my walls,

because who will love me anyway?

I touch the pieces of my broken hope, wondering if it will ever be whole again.

I worry that the darkness surrounding me will swallow me alive.

I cry rarely, but when I do it’s a pleasure to feel alive.

I am lonely and scared.

I understand that not everyone knows what I’m going through.

I say that it’s okay because I don’t want to talk about it.

I dream that someday my walls will fall and

someone will love me for me.

I try to smile as though the pain doesn’t exist and my life is perfect.

I hope that someday I won’t have to pretend, the smile

will be real, and the pain non-existent.

I am lonely and scared.